Credo
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posted by dandelionskill at 3:26:00 AM
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Match report versus Huns : 23/09/06
There are seven hills in Rome (Isnt it ironic as Alanis would say.) Teh number of points clear of em. There are five sisters in Kintail, the number of games theyve went without scoring against us. There are no certainties in football........My fuckin hairy hole there is. Miller to score in a home win today. And there are six and a half pounds in your average newborn baby the number of years they have went without beating us at home. It's all in the numbers Hunskelpers.
Its not an ideal situation going into this as clear favourites unless you are indeed clear favourites, and as expected todays encounter was always going to be a matter of how many miss moneypenny.
Given the French reputation for passion and imagination.(they invented the blow job ye know.) Im beginning to think that Appaling Guen is a migrant of Luxembourg. Leguen is so fucking incompetent that if he was humpty dumpty he would have trouble falling off the great wall of China. So lets get to it.
Round 1
The hupes side picked itself for this one, so did the huns although Barry had to be told he couldnt be a ball boy. I dont know how, when he performed like one. The only two questions to be answered were who would partner Jvoh, would GHordon go with McGeady or Maloney and who the fuck cuts Riordans hair. As it was he went (Rightfully) with Gaiden and although in the course of the game there would be a few candidates for motm in the hupes, the Bhoy wonder is something that they dont have.
McGeady gives you an out and with his evo stick boots can turn defence into attack quicker than you can say Novos a cunt.
With Nakamura providing more technical know how than pc world, Stone cold supplying the dig and Lenny chucking in with a storming display, the balance of the Hupes midfield looks just about right. But there is room for other permutations, just as the huns have room for mutations, given the depth of squad and horses for courses as the saying goes.
The Huns were the first onto the attack and major repairs are required to the toilets in the LL lower, pity their rabble on the park werent as aggresive. Ive seen more fight in a Morris dance. What followed had more eroticism than emanuelle does Barlinnie.
It was patently clear from the outset that the Hupes defence were more than a match for Boydchenko and Prso. McManus and Caldwell repelled the homos like doormen at Bennets on straight night. Talking of Bennets, regular attender Mcgeady was all over the huns with Hutton in particular the recipient of a severe shagging.
The Hun keeper was brought into action when a Jvoh blooter had him floundering fishlike to touch said blooter round the post.
The Hupes were dominating in all arias and even with the absence of Begian intervention produced the next chance of the match. Naka combined well with Mjallby to thrash the ball positively goalwards and Pars reject McGregor managed to fist the ball to safety.
The Huns with all their summer signings,,,,,, ehrr on the bench, offered no threat and Buroc back after a lengthy absence replaced Boruc in goal was having an easy time of it. The one bald man who gives male tims boners was bossing the middle of the park and was allowed the luxury of being caught in posession a few times with no real harm done.
Hutton on the other hand ws recieving sympathy letters from cunts in Abu Gharab such was the doing McGeady was giving him. Lennon was back to his Gethsemane best (Remember that one?) and Rolled back the years to put in his best display since the advent of Levi sta press.
It was Lennon who put the first spoke in the wheels of le charriot de revolutione when he whipped in a cross to see Aiden rising like a guillemot and his header was parried into the beautiful parkhead sky. with the ball agonizingly tantalizingly hanginglizingly in the air, the huns must have thought the ghost of John Hartson had come back to haunt them as the baldy nut of stone cold put the issue to bed 1-0 Strachans Strollers.
Elephant shite
The huns as exxxpected responded by throwing long aimless balls into the Celtic backline and when they eventually did manage to breach the Hupes back line, Wee Bawwy on a one on one with Boruc left more shite than the cast of Dumbo on the pitch as he bricked it from the Polish Norman Bates. But Im getting a head off myself here.
Mcgeady and Naka combined like a harvester on the edge of the huns box and Aidens curler shaved the top of the bar in an audacious attempt to further humilliate the hun defence.
The huns then erhm still did fuck all and Boruc had to content himself with the fact he wouldnt need a shower and would be first in the disco for a change, fuck even the Telf was playing in his housecoat and slippers.
And half time brought the first half to a close as it often does.
Haha Boyd ya cock
The teams took the field for the second half and the Huns had no option but to try and force the issue. Ha. They couldnt force letters through a letterbox. Boydchenko? Every defender in the SPL should hang there head in shame for letting this cock score against ye. Time and again he showed no control, no awareness and showed good reason to suggest that this cunt is a football player (use that term verrrrry loosey here) who has the awareness of a dodgem.
Prso had a header cleared off the line by the nervy looking Naylor before Captain of the Kirk shit a brick from Boruc as earlier described.
Hutton was hooked and his hole wasnt too difficult to find by the man with the big hook, as it was left gaping by a rampant McGeady. And in an attempt to flood the midfield Leguen flooded the midfield by bringing on Sihonkin and Haha Gavin Fuckin Rae. (Newbies on this board probably dont know who he is, he's shite and thats all ye need to know.) And although they managed to stave off the Huupes tide of destruction they still failed to make any impact on the Celtic goal, mainly due to the fact Boyd couldnt control a slinky on a staircase.
Fairytale stuff.
Once upon a time an evil witch put a spell on little Timmy Miller and he made a mistake and went to sek his fortune in the employ of an evil empire. But little Timmy not being a total eejit ran away and with the help of a good wizard broke the evil spell. He then worked hard for a small farm community and did good deeds so much that the good wizard sent him off to help against the evil empire who were trying to rail against their death throws. And little Timmy Miller began to do more good deeds but couldnt manage to get his name on the scoresheet even though he helped all his other friends to.
Then one day when he was in direct conflict against the Evil empire, he had run himself ragged doing good deeds and was about to be subbed.
All of a sudden a good fairy appared and he broke from defence and ran halfway upfield and played an inch perfect pass to Timmy Miller who sprinted clear of the hun defence and with Larsonesque dinkism sent the ball into the net to break Nacho Novos scoring record for the last three seasons. Little Timmy went Ballistic and so did we. 2-0 and fuckin endgame.
Normal Service
Once again it was the same old story for the huns and pornographers began copyright court proceedings as to who had the legal right to films called Pumped at Perkheid. Normal service was resumed, and Zurawski held the ball up well and gave a hand to Jvoh who although wasnt the threat we know he is, he still worked tirelessly for the cause and led the line to good effect.
Big Evander replaced Naka who had covered every blade of grass but I could tell the difference. The big man imposed himself in the middle and was comfortably numb. To rub insult into the wound Strachan took off Gravesen and brought on Pearo straight from area 51 and he supplid the energy to see the game out. A Majic shot near the end was as near as anyone came to scoring and even Boyd managed a shot late on, ye will probably find a match ball being sold doon the barras tomorrow.
And that was that. A comprehensive victory once again by the hupes and the only consolation for the huns was that it was the first time they got to play with a "champions" golden matchball. It will be a fuckin long time before they get to use one.
Performances.
Boruc. Fuck all to do and donated his wages to the Provos and his win bonus to the repressd relions of the world charity. Would strongly advise children not to go near Barrys door dressed up as Artur at Haloween though.
Telfer. Much maligned and didnt let his side or us down. Always made himself available and I noticed that he ws in tears when Miller scored. Big Ups Telf. Credit where its due.
Mick. Rock solid display and made some cracking tackles that you only find in good porn. Always a threat at set peices and has a good goal average for a defender.
Caldwell. Once again an impressive display that should see him dropped from the Scotland squad. Faultless display even if it was only Boyd he had to contend with. We might just have been wrong about this big cunt.
Naylor. I love this wee cunt. He started a bit nervy but still didnt hide and even with a couple of mistakes it would be hard to find fault with him, espcially when he nutmegged the hun whose name I cant recall. Priceless.
Lenny. Absoloutely magnificent. Bossed the midfield like the Lenny of old minus the death threats. Strolled through this one and was only beaten for hupes motm by Hutton.
Gravesen. Was caught in posession more times than Linda Blair and is something he will need to work on for the CL. That aside he oozed class and looks like he wouldnt be averse to going twelve rounds with Michelle Mols.
Naka. The tokyo terror was a thorn in the huns side all day and his skillness is unstoppable when he is in this frame of mind. Some wicked corners and deft play are the reason huns wont relish the next time they see him. You'll be seeing him in your nightmares you monkey bastards.
I honestly wonder why I never recieve job ofers from the major playrs in the media.
Aiden. Once again the Gay Provo has put his bad hair days behind him and got down to doing what he does best. Shove it up the seared scorched hole of every hun who hates him and envy the talent they can only fuckin dream of.
Jvoh. Worked tirelessly and was unfortunate in that Svennson wasnt playing. The big Frenchman was always in and around the action and was booked for his trouble. The best has still to come from him though.
King Kenny. Come on ye all just fuckin knew that this was gonnae happen. Despite his poor fist touch I do think he isnt a bad player. He hasnt hid through the goal drought and has endeared himself to a large if not the majority of the support. He Rode those cunts like a hamster on a wheel on angel dust. And he looked quite pleased when he scored too. A good player to have in your toolbag.
Majic. Did exactly what he had to do when he came on and held the ball well. The competition for places should bring out the best in him. Has a few O Zone cds does this bhoy.
Sno. A massive prospect and has an intimidating effect on the middle and can see a pass.. Great dreads and I'll bet he has a relaible dealer.
Pearo. Another good tool to have in the bag. You know you are gonna get 100 per sent from Kid Paro and he never disapoints.
Strachan. This team he is putting together is starting to show real potential and its now not a cert that the predicted failure is as imminent as expected. Im fucking delighted for him, and with him.
Big Joke nuthin new
You often hear them say that on FF, or something like that anyway. New messiah same old result. The huns come to Cp and get pumped and it dont like its going to change for the foreseeable but then Im an optimist as well as an ornathologist. The much vaunted revolution once again stutters to a halt and the Hupes give notice of their credentials. Loooooooookin good.
Hil Hail
Jhimbo @the huddleboard.com
Get video codes at Bolt.
Its not an ideal situation going into this as clear favourites unless you are indeed clear favourites, and as expected todays encounter was always going to be a matter of how many miss moneypenny.
Given the French reputation for passion and imagination.(they invented the blow job ye know.) Im beginning to think that Appaling Guen is a migrant of Luxembourg. Leguen is so fucking incompetent that if he was humpty dumpty he would have trouble falling off the great wall of China. So lets get to it.
Round 1
The hupes side picked itself for this one, so did the huns although Barry had to be told he couldnt be a ball boy. I dont know how, when he performed like one. The only two questions to be answered were who would partner Jvoh, would GHordon go with McGeady or Maloney and who the fuck cuts Riordans hair. As it was he went (Rightfully) with Gaiden and although in the course of the game there would be a few candidates for motm in the hupes, the Bhoy wonder is something that they dont have.
McGeady gives you an out and with his evo stick boots can turn defence into attack quicker than you can say Novos a cunt.
With Nakamura providing more technical know how than pc world, Stone cold supplying the dig and Lenny chucking in with a storming display, the balance of the Hupes midfield looks just about right. But there is room for other permutations, just as the huns have room for mutations, given the depth of squad and horses for courses as the saying goes.
The Huns were the first onto the attack and major repairs are required to the toilets in the LL lower, pity their rabble on the park werent as aggresive. Ive seen more fight in a Morris dance. What followed had more eroticism than emanuelle does Barlinnie.
It was patently clear from the outset that the Hupes defence were more than a match for Boydchenko and Prso. McManus and Caldwell repelled the homos like doormen at Bennets on straight night. Talking of Bennets, regular attender Mcgeady was all over the huns with Hutton in particular the recipient of a severe shagging.
The Hun keeper was brought into action when a Jvoh blooter had him floundering fishlike to touch said blooter round the post.
The Hupes were dominating in all arias and even with the absence of Begian intervention produced the next chance of the match. Naka combined well with Mjallby to thrash the ball positively goalwards and Pars reject McGregor managed to fist the ball to safety.
The Huns with all their summer signings,,,,,, ehrr on the bench, offered no threat and Buroc back after a lengthy absence replaced Boruc in goal was having an easy time of it. The one bald man who gives male tims boners was bossing the middle of the park and was allowed the luxury of being caught in posession a few times with no real harm done.
Hutton on the other hand ws recieving sympathy letters from cunts in Abu Gharab such was the doing McGeady was giving him. Lennon was back to his Gethsemane best (Remember that one?) and Rolled back the years to put in his best display since the advent of Levi sta press.
It was Lennon who put the first spoke in the wheels of le charriot de revolutione when he whipped in a cross to see Aiden rising like a guillemot and his header was parried into the beautiful parkhead sky. with the ball agonizingly tantalizingly hanginglizingly in the air, the huns must have thought the ghost of John Hartson had come back to haunt them as the baldy nut of stone cold put the issue to bed 1-0 Strachans Strollers.
Elephant shite
The huns as exxxpected responded by throwing long aimless balls into the Celtic backline and when they eventually did manage to breach the Hupes back line, Wee Bawwy on a one on one with Boruc left more shite than the cast of Dumbo on the pitch as he bricked it from the Polish Norman Bates. But Im getting a head off myself here.
Mcgeady and Naka combined like a harvester on the edge of the huns box and Aidens curler shaved the top of the bar in an audacious attempt to further humilliate the hun defence.
The huns then erhm still did fuck all and Boruc had to content himself with the fact he wouldnt need a shower and would be first in the disco for a change, fuck even the Telf was playing in his housecoat and slippers.
And half time brought the first half to a close as it often does.
Haha Boyd ya cock
The teams took the field for the second half and the Huns had no option but to try and force the issue. Ha. They couldnt force letters through a letterbox. Boydchenko? Every defender in the SPL should hang there head in shame for letting this cock score against ye. Time and again he showed no control, no awareness and showed good reason to suggest that this cunt is a football player (use that term verrrrry loosey here) who has the awareness of a dodgem.
Prso had a header cleared off the line by the nervy looking Naylor before Captain of the Kirk shit a brick from Boruc as earlier described.
Hutton was hooked and his hole wasnt too difficult to find by the man with the big hook, as it was left gaping by a rampant McGeady. And in an attempt to flood the midfield Leguen flooded the midfield by bringing on Sihonkin and Haha Gavin Fuckin Rae. (Newbies on this board probably dont know who he is, he's shite and thats all ye need to know.) And although they managed to stave off the Huupes tide of destruction they still failed to make any impact on the Celtic goal, mainly due to the fact Boyd couldnt control a slinky on a staircase.
Fairytale stuff.
Once upon a time an evil witch put a spell on little Timmy Miller and he made a mistake and went to sek his fortune in the employ of an evil empire. But little Timmy not being a total eejit ran away and with the help of a good wizard broke the evil spell. He then worked hard for a small farm community and did good deeds so much that the good wizard sent him off to help against the evil empire who were trying to rail against their death throws. And little Timmy Miller began to do more good deeds but couldnt manage to get his name on the scoresheet even though he helped all his other friends to.
Then one day when he was in direct conflict against the Evil empire, he had run himself ragged doing good deeds and was about to be subbed.
All of a sudden a good fairy appared and he broke from defence and ran halfway upfield and played an inch perfect pass to Timmy Miller who sprinted clear of the hun defence and with Larsonesque dinkism sent the ball into the net to break Nacho Novos scoring record for the last three seasons. Little Timmy went Ballistic and so did we. 2-0 and fuckin endgame.
Normal Service
Once again it was the same old story for the huns and pornographers began copyright court proceedings as to who had the legal right to films called Pumped at Perkheid. Normal service was resumed, and Zurawski held the ball up well and gave a hand to Jvoh who although wasnt the threat we know he is, he still worked tirelessly for the cause and led the line to good effect.
Big Evander replaced Naka who had covered every blade of grass but I could tell the difference. The big man imposed himself in the middle and was comfortably numb. To rub insult into the wound Strachan took off Gravesen and brought on Pearo straight from area 51 and he supplid the energy to see the game out. A Majic shot near the end was as near as anyone came to scoring and even Boyd managed a shot late on, ye will probably find a match ball being sold doon the barras tomorrow.
And that was that. A comprehensive victory once again by the hupes and the only consolation for the huns was that it was the first time they got to play with a "champions" golden matchball. It will be a fuckin long time before they get to use one.
Performances.
Boruc. Fuck all to do and donated his wages to the Provos and his win bonus to the repressd relions of the world charity. Would strongly advise children not to go near Barrys door dressed up as Artur at Haloween though.
Telfer. Much maligned and didnt let his side or us down. Always made himself available and I noticed that he ws in tears when Miller scored. Big Ups Telf. Credit where its due.
Mick. Rock solid display and made some cracking tackles that you only find in good porn. Always a threat at set peices and has a good goal average for a defender.
Caldwell. Once again an impressive display that should see him dropped from the Scotland squad. Faultless display even if it was only Boyd he had to contend with. We might just have been wrong about this big cunt.
Naylor. I love this wee cunt. He started a bit nervy but still didnt hide and even with a couple of mistakes it would be hard to find fault with him, espcially when he nutmegged the hun whose name I cant recall. Priceless.
Lenny. Absoloutely magnificent. Bossed the midfield like the Lenny of old minus the death threats. Strolled through this one and was only beaten for hupes motm by Hutton.
Gravesen. Was caught in posession more times than Linda Blair and is something he will need to work on for the CL. That aside he oozed class and looks like he wouldnt be averse to going twelve rounds with Michelle Mols.
Naka. The tokyo terror was a thorn in the huns side all day and his skillness is unstoppable when he is in this frame of mind. Some wicked corners and deft play are the reason huns wont relish the next time they see him. You'll be seeing him in your nightmares you monkey bastards.
I honestly wonder why I never recieve job ofers from the major playrs in the media.
Aiden. Once again the Gay Provo has put his bad hair days behind him and got down to doing what he does best. Shove it up the seared scorched hole of every hun who hates him and envy the talent they can only fuckin dream of.
Jvoh. Worked tirelessly and was unfortunate in that Svennson wasnt playing. The big Frenchman was always in and around the action and was booked for his trouble. The best has still to come from him though.
King Kenny. Come on ye all just fuckin knew that this was gonnae happen. Despite his poor fist touch I do think he isnt a bad player. He hasnt hid through the goal drought and has endeared himself to a large if not the majority of the support. He Rode those cunts like a hamster on a wheel on angel dust. And he looked quite pleased when he scored too. A good player to have in your toolbag.
Majic. Did exactly what he had to do when he came on and held the ball well. The competition for places should bring out the best in him. Has a few O Zone cds does this bhoy.
Sno. A massive prospect and has an intimidating effect on the middle and can see a pass.. Great dreads and I'll bet he has a relaible dealer.
Pearo. Another good tool to have in the bag. You know you are gonna get 100 per sent from Kid Paro and he never disapoints.
Strachan. This team he is putting together is starting to show real potential and its now not a cert that the predicted failure is as imminent as expected. Im fucking delighted for him, and with him.
Big Joke nuthin new
You often hear them say that on FF, or something like that anyway. New messiah same old result. The huns come to Cp and get pumped and it dont like its going to change for the foreseeable but then Im an optimist as well as an ornathologist. The much vaunted revolution once again stutters to a halt and the Hupes give notice of their credentials. Loooooooookin good.
Hil Hail
Jhimbo @the huddleboard.com
Get video codes at Bolt.
posted by dandelionskill at 7:43:00 AM
1 comments
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